Chronic Pain, Illness and Intimacy: Pacing, Talking and Adjusting
Signals, scripts, pacing and practical comfort adjustments, a 6-week confidence plan, and questions to ask your care team.
By Whole Life HQ4 parts · about 4,300 words · printable · read online
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OpenFor adults 18+. Educational and non-explicit. It is not medical advice; for pain, bleeding or worries about your health, please see a doctor or sexual health clinic.
Who it's for
People living with chronic pain, fatigue or a long-term illness, and their partners, who want practical adjustments and ways to talk about intimacy. For adults 18+.
What you receive
- 4 written parts, about 4,300 words
- Three conversations, a signal system and questions for your care team
- Pacing, practical comfort adjustments (no position diagrams) and a six-week confidence plan
- Feelings for both partners, who can help, and a review page
4 printable pages, in reading order
- Part 1: How pain and illness change intimacy
- Part 2: Talking, setting signals and asking your care team
- Part 3: Pacing and practical adjustments
- Part 4: Feelings, professional help and your review
See inside
The first 4 pages, as they print.
Look inside
The first page, word for word. 4 printable pages in total.
Part 1: How pain and illness change intimacy
This guide is for adults 18 and over. It is educational and non-explicit. It is not medical advice and it does not replace your care team or a sex therapist. Your doctor, nurse or therapist knows your condition, and this guide does not. If you have a sudden change, new pain, or any worry about your health, please contact them (details are in Part 4).
Living with chronic pain or a long-term illness changes many things, and intimacy is often one of them. It may be arthritis, a back or nerve condition, fibromyalgia, migraine, endometriosis, heart or lung disease, diabetes, multiple sclerosis, cancer and its treatment, bowel or bladder conditions, a long recovery, or an illness with no name yet. It may be you who has the condition, or your partner. It may be both.
Many people never talk about it, because the subject feels doubly awkward: sex and illness. They carry questions alone. Will it hurt? Will I make it worse? Will they still want me? Do I still want this? This guide gives plain answers, practical adjustments, and words for the conversation. It makes no promises about your condition. It cannot say what is safe for you, only help you ask your care team well.
What is in each part
- How pain and illness change intimacy
- Talking, setting signals and asking your care team
- Pacing and practical adjustments
- Feelings, professional help and your review
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Downloads included
4 printable pages: see the list
- Part 1: How pain and illness change intimacy
- Part 2: Talking, setting signals and asking your care team
- Part 3: Pacing and practical adjustments
- Part 4: Feelings, professional help and your review
They open in your library, and you can print them, once they are yours.
Who wrote it
Written by the Whole Life HQ team.
Not yet reviewed by an outside expert.
We plan to ask a sex educator or therapist to review it. Until then it is general information, not professional advice.
General information, not medical advice. Talk to your doctor before changing your exercise, eating or sleep, or if something worries you. If you are in crisis, call or text 988 (Suicide and Crisis Lifeline). In an emergency call 911.
How you get it
- In your libraryAfter you pay, it is in your library straight away.
- Any devicePhone, tablet or computer. Print it if you like paper.
- Yours to keepIt stays in your account, and you can come back any time.
