Tantrums and Big Feelings: A Calm Plan for Ages 2 to 6

A tantrum in the cereal aisle. A meltdown because the banana broke. A scream at bedtime that seems to come from nowhere. If this is your house, you are not alone. Big feelings in small children are normal, loud and exhausting. This guide gives you a calm plan for ages 2 to 6: what is going on, what to say, how to prevent the worst ones and how to look after yourself.

It is general parenting information, not medical or mental health advice. If you are worried about your child, talk to your pediatrician.

What is in this guide

1. Part 1 (this one): what tantrums are, the types and your starting diary.
2. Part 2: the calm-down moment: what to do and say during a meltdown.
3. Part 3: before and after: preventing the worst ones and teaching feelings words.
4. Part 4: public places, tricky situations, the calm-down kit and when to get help.

What a tantrum is

A tantrum is a young child's brain being overwhelmed. The part of the brain that handles feelings is working at full speed. The part that handles calm, logic and self-control is still under construction and will keep growing for years. When feelings arrive faster than the child can handle them, the result is crying, screaming, hitting, throwing or flopping on the floor.